Even ifThere was nothing that could prepare you hadto meet the Sun, not even if you'd been training for it allalIntroducing a typo in the very first sentence. Nice. your life, there was little you could do to prepare yourself to meet a god. Noelle'slife. Nina's palms were sweaty where they clutched her bag of seed. The steps up tocornI did go and confirm that corn would make sense for this environment. No more resisting it., even in the offering-platform were steep and narrow, andcold darkness before the heavy bags of seed jouncedAlas, "jounced" was not long for this world. :P against her with every step. Ahead of her Joffrey's steps were lightsun arose, and sure. He'd done this hundreds of times, if not more. He would be looking forwardshe almost had to moving into the High Priest's personal retinue, but before he could do that, he neededrun to train his replacement. That was how it worked: the quick and the virtuous climbedkeep up the many-rayed ladder towards the Sun. Those above helped those below ascend towards warmth and light. Together everyone rose.with Teacher.
At least JoffreyChukilla didn't look unaffected, either, hurrying to keep up with she and Teacher both. Noellelike he was doing much better. Nina flashed him a grin thatsmile, and he shakily returned.returned it shakily. "Can you believe it?" she whispered at him, keeping one eye on Teacher's back up ahead. There was nothing that said the two of themwasn't any official reason they couldn't talk, but the situation felt like it forbade it, somehow.
"No," JoffreyChukilla muttered back. "I couldn't sleep at all last night."
"I don't think anybody could!" Certainly NoelleNina hadn't. The dormitory had been full of creaks and rustlings,rustling, young disciples of the Sun aliverestless withsleepless nerves, awaiting their first encounter with the Sun, onSun upon its rise tomorrow.the next morning.
"Did you talk to your... grandmother?" Joffreygrandmother, last night?" Chukilla asked quietly.
"Yes! She's coming tonight, too, to see how things went." Noelle'sNina's hand went to the small lump in her tunic that wasmarked where her facecallerGravecaller rested, always with her.
She was lucky to have Grandmother's help. It was rare for ancestors to return as yamask, toyamask and take such a direct interest in the lives of their descendants, and out of everyone in the family, Grandmother had chosen to givegiven her facecallerGravecaller to Noelle, to visit herNina. She visited Nina in the night, now, and not anybody else.
Under ordinary circumstances that would have marked Noelle out asmade Nina a Shrinekeeper, with the responsibility to lookresponsible for looking after allthe ancestors of Annak.Thutapata's ancestors. But she'd been born on the second SundayHard to resist the dumb pun in Sunday, but it really didn't feel right to be referencing the modern calendar for this story.last day of Fire's Feasting, the day of the month,Sun's triumphant return, and that marked her as belongingso she belonged to the Sun. The Sun trumpedall the spirits of the night, even ancestors,and so here she was now,was, about to meet the Sun properly for the first time.
Joffrey didn't haveChukilla had been born under the Sun, too, but his ancestors visitingdidn't visit him in the night, listening to his hopes and fears,fears and passing along wisdom and encouragement. Nina tried to encourage him instead. "How close do you think we'll be able to get?" Noelle asked him.she asked. "I heard DiracAchiq bragging about how he caught a scale from the Sun's wing. Maybe we will, too!"
"I'm sure it"He's lying. A scale would just burn to ash," JoffreyChukilla muttered gloomily. He was probably right, of course. Noelle wondered if his mood was nerves just for meeting the Sun, or if he was thinking that only one of them could be chosen to continue past this point in their training. One would go on in the priesthood and grow even closer to the Sun, maybe even enter the High Priest's retinue. The other would be relegated to temple maintenance, sweeping floors and cooking meals for other chosen of the Sun. There was much that would be decided by how they served the Sun here.right.
"That's true. Achiq likes to tell big stories," Nina said. "Maybe we should come up with one to get him back."A major concern of mine for this revision was making it clear that Nina and Chukilla were friends, not classmates who'd just happened to get assigned to the same project group, as it were. One of the ways I addressed this was to expand their little moment here.
One thing I would have liked to do, but didn't (ever aware of space constraints), is show a bit more of what Chukilla brought to the relationship. He ranges from "kind of grumpy" to "high-key a dick" over the course of this story, and I think that gives Nina more of an air of "just being kind to the clumsy/nervous kid" than I'd like. To make their friendship feel closer/more mutual, it would have been nice to give some direct evidence that Chukilla is actually friendly towards Nina most of the time.
That surprised Chukilla into a smile. "Maybe. Achiq would probably believe anything. Maybe even that the Sun talked to us, personally." They'd hardly gone three steps, though, before he was back to looking like he had a stomachache.
Nina wondered if his mood was nerves just for meeting the Sun, or if he was thinking that only one of them could be chosen to continue past this point in their training. One would go on in the priesthood and grow even closer to the Sun, maybe even enter the High Priest's retinue. The other would be relegated to temple maintenance, sweeping floors and cooking meals for other chosen of the Sun. There was much that would be decided by how they served the Sun here.
Teacher led them along a narrow path through the cornfield around the base of the offering tower. ItSun's tower, the stalks coming up almost to Nina's neck. The sky overhead was itch blackAnd so the demise of my favorite color, "itch" black.
The previous draft didn't really lay out why these people are treating a volcarona like the actual sun, so I made some changes to try and communicate more clearly that the volcarona actually is their source of heat and light, as the battle between Zekrom and Reshiram has created what is essentially a nuclear winter. The real sun is blocked out by clouds. Rather than the sky being pitch black, which could just be normal nighttime, I wanted to explicitly indicate that there was something weird going on with the sky.
Looking at it now, my description here was based on very polluted skies, but those don't actually block sunlight to the extent that plants won't grow. "Pitch black" might be truer to actual nuclear winter conditions. now, awaitinga murky yellow green, but the corn was still waiting for the Sun's touch. Teacher unlocked a grate at the base of the tower,tower and within,continued with only a brief glance back to be sure his pupils were still there. Within, a set of stone stairs led up.
"Noelle," Joffrey said, and she hurried up the last couple of steps. She couldn't beletting her head go off into the clouds. Now she needed to pay attention and to learn."
It was dim, of course. TheAfter that, Nina didn't have much time to be nervous. Everything had to be in order before the Sun arrived, and there was still far away. Noelle watched as closely as she could while Joffrey showed her the wayso much to watch and learn. Teacher swept through the routine.routine with the ease of familiarity, Nina and Chukilla stumbling over the words of prayer, accidentally banging arms as they attempted the ceremonial gestures. They asked the Sun's permission to approach,approach the altar, made the first blessing. They cleared the offering platform,altar, brushing away old seed hullskernels and scrubbing awayoff droppings from the pidove that had flocked to the Sun's leavings yesterday. joffreyTeacher let Noellethe acolytes help with theseparts,this part, but took for himselfthe task of scrubbing scorch marks from the stonework. Noelle worriedNina could tell he might have feared herfound them slow and hovered anxiously nearby, clutching the seedsher satchel of corn while he scrubbed and brushedat the stonework,stonework until it was as clean as the day it had come from the mason's workbench.
However long ago that mustwould have been. Fifty years? A hundred? AnnakThutapata hadn't always had its Sun. Once there'dthere had been a Sun that livedliving up above the clouds--perhapsclouds. Maybe it still lived there still,there, only hiding its face--and none had been able toface. No one could reach it, not even the high priest. Once thereHigh Priest. It had been a time whendecades since the clouds broke and you *could*broke, since anyone even *had* been able to see what waslay above.
Next was the most important partIn the first draft, there were two "most important parts" of the ritual, heh.,came the preparationpresentation of the day'stoday's offering. At Joffrey's gesture NoelleTeacher made an impatient gesture, and Nina and Chukilla hesitantly stepped forward with seedtheir corn at the ready. SheNina concentrated hard as Joffreywhile Teacher showed her the motions to be made, had her recitecorrect motions, recited the blessings with him.proper blessings. It would be months before she was entrustedmight be trusted enough to do this on her own, but she wanted to learn much, much faster than that, to show she was worthy of a place near the Sun. Joffrey never rushed her, nor chided her for slowness, but she could sense, as they went through the motions carefully, slowed down or even repeated for Noelle's benefit,Teacher hovered nearby, making sharp corrections when Nina stumbled over a verse, when Chukilla fumbledTeacher is a far less patient instructor than "Joffrey" was in the previous draft. Here's my figure of authority who's a dick! his impatience with her, even an edge of worry.satchel. It was growing warmer as they continuedwarm beside the blessing.altar, the brownish yellow light overhead growing stronger. Soon the Sun would arrive.
The most important step came last: pouring the new offering, the gift from the people of AnnakThutapata to the Sun. Golden seed pouredNina went first, pouring golden kernels into thetop of the altar, the hole in the center ofcarved catcus flower on the carven cactus-flowers, thenaltar's central stem. They spilled fromout through the mouths ofthe human and pokémon faces carved on its sides. It spread out to filldown the altar's stone sides and slowly filled the trough below, vibrant againstbelow. Chukilla went next, and his corn was deep purpleIf I was going to be using corn, you can bet I'm making sure it's pretty purple corn! I feel like there's a natural charisma to corn that generic "seed" lacks., overlaying the pocked gray stonewave of the altar. Impossible to miss.gold. Nina could see his hands were shaking, and Teacher snapped at him, which only meant that he spilled a few kernels.
Chukilla hurried to pick them up, head bowed under Teacher's furious reprimands. By now the heat had rowngrown to sweltering, so Noelle halfNina almost expected the seedskernels to pop in their bowl. She could see the Sun hovering abouton the altarhot stones. A brilliant ball of fire glowed around another tower not far away, sure toaway. The Sun would finish its business there and turn towards theirsthem any minute.She wanted to stand where she was and watch its approach, even knowing she'd be burnt to nothing.Ordinarily I like to leave odd little moments like this in, since I think they add some spontaneity and can feel more true to life than something carefully crafted. People can also get real weird about how they react to being in the presence of a deity! Wasn't a big fan of what this did to the tone, though, and ultimately decided to get rid of it.
Joffrey grabbedNina didn't even hear Teacher barking at her arm and urgeduntil Chukilla grabbed her, urging herback down into the tower's central stair, clad in stone, wherestaircase. Here it wasdeep cool and dar. Joffrey stood above her ondark, the staircase, which wasn't realy meant to hold two. Noelle's breath caught in her throat asstone walls blocking the Sun's glow appeared beyondheat. Teacher came down after them, closing the grate above, growing brighter and stronger by the second.above.
Sh craned her neckNina and Chukilla crowded together on a stair that was barely wide enough for one. Nina's breath caught in an attempther throat as the Sun's glow appeared beyond the grate above, growing brighter and stronger by the second. She struggled to see around Joffrey,Teacher, and only after found herself considering whether itafterwards wondered if that was a blasphemy. Fortunately JoffreyTeacher was distracted, staring up through the grate with sweat beading on his face. Hehigher than her, after all--he was stillsupposed to be closer to the Sun than Noelle, but even in his shadow she was closer than she'd ever been before.Sun, and the one with the better view.
In fact, Joffrey seemed to have forgotten sheFortunately he was there at all, startingalso distracted, staring up through the grate with sweat beading on his face. He began the invocations of the Sun's descent without pausepausing or any glancelooking down to see whether Noelle wasthe acolytes were keeping up. She tried,Nina tried to, at first, mumbling the words at a slight delay. But it was impossible to concentrateon words once the heat enveloped herincreased and the glare of the Sunsun found her even in thatinside the stairwell, even in Joffrey'sTeacher's shadow. It was like she'd been plunged intoThe words dried on her tongue, and the heart of a fire,air around her was too hot to even breathe, hotter than anything she'd ever been, brighter than she'd ever seen. She clutched dizzily atfelt before. Nina clung to the wallwall, and Chukilla clung to herThis is where Chukilla gets the Gravecaller off Nina. Although it's not really important for this kind of story, I wanted there to be a moment where it plausibly would have happened., and Nina couldn't tell ifwhether the roaring up above was coming from the Sun's mouthSun or wasonly the sound of the air catching fire.
Above, somethingrasped and scraped against stone.the stones. There were crunches and pops--Noellepops--Nina was sure the corn *was* popping now. Something thumped and thumped again,with eachirregular beat sending a new wave of heat cascadingWe haven't gotten to the proper imitation bit yet--that's the next draft--but this already felt like a word that would stick out and look like a "me" sort of verb. But it's so good, though! I really love the image this gives of the heat tumbling down through the grate with the weight of water rather than air. It felt really, really identifying, though, and so had to go. Changing this back is honestly probably the first thing I would do if I were going to undo the "imitation" aspect of the story, heh.down into the stairwell. Embers blewand scattered through the grate, landing in Teacher's hair and cloths,clothes, and now NoelleNina saw where the dark speckled pattern on Teacher'shis robes had come from.
She couldn't even hear Teacher over the crackle of the Sun, hadBy now she'd forgotten the invocation entirely. She couldn't even think to run, which she later realized was a blessing, that otherwise she might have fled blindly in search of shade and cool and so rined herself. Nonebecause none who sought to draw close to the Sun could hope toever justify fleeing from it so.its light. It was impossible to say how long she was caught there, fighting not to faint, before the awful heat and light retreated, the Sun taking its leave. The smell of burningyet lingered in Noelle's nostrils,Nina's nose, and she clutched the cooling stones of the wall, uncertain thatunsure if it was really over.
ButIt must have been, because Teacher shoved themfinished his prayers and then herded she and Chukilla down the stairs,stairs wiping sweat from his face with one wide sleeve. Noelle had rare occasion to be grateful forNina rarely appreciated the short sleeves and thin fabric of her apprentice's garb, but she was glad she didn't envy Teacher hishave Teacher's heavy ceremonial robes now.
AtThey passed through the basecornfield again, some of which would one day be brought up through the tower as another Offering for the Sun. When thedoor let them out into a field of corn--the Sun visited andvisited, it grew the corn with its light, and in return the people of AnnakThutapata gave some of the corn back to the Sun. Pidove, and perhaps the rare bug pokémon, would come to eat whatever the Sun had left. And tomorrow the priest--and now Noelleleft, and Joffrey--wouldtheir droppings would fertilize the fields. Tomorrow the priest would return to presetpresent another day's offering. That was her job now, Noelle realized with a thrill of prideNow that meant Nina and unease. That mightChukilla, too. In time only one of them would be her job for some time. Shewondered whether itreturning to fulfill that duty, and Teacher would ever get easierhave moved on to be in the presence of the Sun.a higher post.
This was her job now, Nina realized with a thrill of pride and unease. This might be her job for some time. Shewondered whether it would ever get easier to be in the presence of the Sun.
She exchanged looks with JoffreyChukilla all the waydown te shot path leading through the fragrant corn and then back to the Temple of the Sun. He looked as flushed as she imagined she must be, skin a bright red except where he'dwherever he hadn't been in teacher'sTeacher's shadow. They couldn't speak freely until Teacher left them to themselves, and then itThere was only time to snatch a quicksilver, excited conversation they snatched in the brief timeonce Teacher had left them and before they had to go and prepare the midday meal.
"What did you think?" NoelleNina asked, quiet despite the fact that there was no one aboutaround to overhear. "The"Those sparks, falling on Teacher's face! I never would have imagined.""Cascaded" was probably the most painful cut in this version, and this bit was probably the easiest. What a dreadfully weak sentence, made all the worse for the fact that Chukilla goes on to say almost the exact same thing immediately afterwads.And they were burning him!"
"Yes. It was brighter--brighterbright--brighter than anything I could imagine."
Brighter and hotter, too. The sunSun was never far off, in daytime, at least, lest Annak freeze below the dark sky,or Thutapata would freeze, but it was dim in whatever parts of the city the Sun wasn't blessing at the moment, its glow far-off. "Yes! It was bright. Even closing my eyes didn't help."
"You closed your eyes?" JoffreyChukilla sounded so scandalized that NoelleNina regretted bringing it up. "It was"It's hard being in the presence of the Sun," her fellow acolytehe said with the quick surety of something known by rote. "That is why we must study, and prepare ourselves, to be worthy of the Sun's grace."
"Of course," NoelleNina said, disappointed. She had hoped to share her feelings with someone who mightwould understand, not receive the kind of doctrinal reprimand that might come from any one of the priests. Once againBesides, she thought of the one spot waiting inwas sure Chukilla had closed his eyes at the high priest's retinue, but only for a moment. Grandmother would comevery least. He'd probably even turned away. Clinging tovisit her in only a few hours, and there at least she could be assured of an enthusiastic and sympathetic ear, and none of the high priest's dourness.like that wasn't very brave, one way or another.
Nina thought of the one spot waiting in the high priest's retinue, but only for a moment. Grandmother would visit in only a few hours, and there at least she could be assured of an enthusiastic and sympathetic ear, with none of the high priest's dourness.
That evening, though, once the Sun had retired and abruptthe deepest darkness come down on Annak,fallen over Thutapata, Grandmother did not come. Noelle had gone toNina was in her usual spot, where Grandmother wouldn't even need the facecallerGravecaller to know where to go. But Noelle was leftStill Nina found herself alone in the dimfaint glow of the fires lighting the Sun's temple,temple fires, bursting with news she had no one to tell.
Noelle's hand slipped under her outer shift, to whereNina reached for the facecaller always lay,Gravecaller, just above her breastbone. This was where sheto reassure herself. She always carried it, close at hand, and had never once leaving it behind.forgotten it. It didn'twouldn't do to go losing a fragment of your grandmother'sancestor's soul.
ItThe familiar bump in her tunic that marked the Gravecaller's place was gone. Nina felt desperately for its cord around her neck, but that wasn't there.there, either.Not sure why I made this change. Maybe having a single-sentence wham paragraph here felt too much like a "me" kind of thing?
NoelleNina turned, heart in her throat, patting at her tunic, her trousers,satchel, searching the ground around her. The facecallerGravecaller was gone. Where? Had it fallen somehow the last timewhen she'd changed into sleeping clothes, its cord snapped? Surely it would be in the dormitory, that was where she needed to look.dormitory?
But it wasn't in the dormitory, as even a cursorybrief glance could tell. Wherever the facecaller was, soGrandmother would be Grandmother,wherever the Gravecaller was, and there was no ghost lurking amongbetween the narrow beds tonight, ready to gently chide herNina for inattention, to make Noelleher laugh away her terror and listen with intent tothen entertain her with stories. Where the facecallerGravecaller was, Grandmother would be, so if it was lost, so was she.
Where could it be? Grandmother had visited last night, so it couldn't have been gone long. Not in the dormitory: the kitchen, then, or latrine? But as NoelleNina thought of where the facecallerGravecaller might have landed, there was one horrible possibility that kept growing larger and larger, until it eclipsed all the others.
Theceremonial tower. Perhaps her shaking hadsomehow undone the cord,cord somehow, or the Sun's heat burned it away. It seemed too dreadfully likely thatNina could picture the facecaller wasGravecaller resting on those steps. But ifsteps much too clearly, the golden fragment of Grandmother's mask and the smiling woman Nina's mother had molded out of clay to hold it.I wanted to make the Gravecaller feel more concrete with this little description here, and also give a deeper sense of what losing it meant to Nina with the detail that her mother had made it. If a priest found out,out about that, if anyone saw a yamask drifting aboutaround the platform--Noelletower--Nina couldn't even think of it. The Sun ruled daytimes, shddingthe daytime, shedding light on industry and striving. Ghosts were creatures of the night, of rest and peace and dreaming. For a ghost to appear in the sanctum of the Sun was the very worst offense.
These thoughtsThe worry chased NoelleNina from the dormitory and out of the temple completely. She was soon lost among cityThutapata's streets, trying to find a path she'd followed only once before in the deep dark of night.once, and with nothing but faint firelight to guide her. All the while she told herself that this was foolish, that even if the facecallerGravecaller *had* fallen on the stairs, if Grandmother *was* there, it was very unlikely anyone would see. NoelleNina would retrieve the facecallerGravecaller and lead Grandmother away, and all would be well.
She foundat last where the corn salks were split by the tower's pathcornfield at last, and then the place where it parted around a path. Nina hurried down it,forward, only to bowl intothe shadowy figures coming in the opposite diection. NoelleNina cried out in surprise, and then, to her dismay, recognized the voice that yelled in turn. Teacher.
And then, flyingthen something flew at her, beating at her face with rattlingAnother imitation edit. Whenever I use pokémon with veined wings, like charizard, say, there's often a lot of "rattling" and "snapping" as they move them around. My default descriptions of ghosty movement got me dinged last year, so I was careful to remove another of my frequent characterizations here. At least I hadn't gone and made Grandmother skittery on top of this!tough clay wings and glaring with its single eye glaring,eye. It was a sigilyph, one of the servants of the Sun. NoelleNina threw her arms up to protect her face, then froze when she saw what the sigilyph was dragging behind, trapped in a glowing psychic bubble. *Grandmother.*
"Noelle,""Nina," Teacher barked. With a sharp gesture theThe sigilyph drew back from her.at his sharp gesture. In itsthe pokémon's psychic glow NoelleNina could faintly see the deep frown on Teacher's face, the facecaller danglingGravecaller gleaming where it dangled from his fist.
"Teacher, I," sheNina began.
"Was careless," Teacher finished for her. "Impossibly so. Do you understand, Noelle,Nina, why we cannot allow the dead to enter any tower of the Sun?"
Grandmother threw herself at the wall of the bubble, shadowy fists rebounding from it. Noelle'sNina's mouth was dry as grave-dust.
"I'm sorry," she managed to get out, the words harsh and whisperingout. They were hardly more than a whisper from her parched mouth. "I understand. It won't happen again. I'll leave the facecallermy Gravecaller in the dormitory. Whatever penance there is, I'll pay it." Grandmother made noises of indignation from within the psychic bubble,her prison, but NoelleNina couldn't bring herself to look at her.
Teacher's expression didn't lighten the slightest bit. He shook his head. "Weremained grim. "The Sun can't touch this tower until it's Weoops lol won't be able to use this tower until it's been purified. That won't be a task for you. Joffrey.Chukilla. Tomorrow youwe will prepare forbegin the cleansing. Ask back at the temple for what you'll need--the Shrinekeepers are bound to be awake yet."
NoelleNina turned in shock to the small figure beside Teacher whom she'dTeacher. She'd forgotten about them entirely. Had Teacher really asked JoffreyChukilla here to handlehelp with Grandmother?
How had she lost the facecaller come to fall from its place?Gravecaller? The burning Sun, or something--someone--else?
Noelle turned from Joffrey again, aA cold pit opening through her. "Teacher, I'm sorry,"opened in Nina's stomach. She wanted to ask and not to ask, and at the same time, she began.couldn't ignore Grandmother's cries any longer. It was shameful that she'd done so for so long already. "Please let her go," she asked Teacher. "I'm here now. She won't go back to the tower."I felt like Grandmother kind of weirdly disappeared for the majority of the conversation in the previous version (just floating there, banging her ghosty fists on the bubble while everybody else talked?), so I tried to work her into the latter bit of this scene a bit more.
"I'm afraid no amount of sorry can fix this,""We're taking it outside the city walls," Teacher said firmly. "My cofidence in you has been shaken, Noelle. Badly shaken. Be quiet for now. Follow. We shall havesaid. "The Gravecaller will go to think of what this means for your future."the Shrinekeepers. They will decide when it may return."
"She's my grandmother!" Nina protested, the cold horror rising to numb every one of her limbs. "You can't hold one of my ancestors like this! It wasn't even her fault she ended up in the tower!" Grandmother echoed her in her own ghost language.
"I am chosen of the Sun!" Teacher snapped. "The Sun has dominion over all the spirits of the night, and I have dominion over this. You, too, were supposed to be of the Sun." He took a deep breath and gave Nina a hard look. "My cofidence in you has been shaken, Nina. Badly shaken. Be quiet for now. Follow. We shall have to think about what this means for your future."I felt like we didn't quite have enough "human is a dick to pokémon" in the previous version, so I ramped it up a bit here. I think this section implies some interesting things about the place the Sun's chosen vs the Shrinekeepers have in society, how they relate to ghosts vs the volcarona (he put her grandma in a bubble and is not even a little sorry about it!), and so on. Way outside the scope of this one-shot, but fun to think about.
If I were going to expand on the lore here, I think I'd want to go mummies. Yamask and cofagrigus draw on them for their design, they were very important in Nazca culture, and in general, the desert conditions make this civilization discovering and attaching meaning to mummies a lot more likely than most places. I think it could be fun to look at a case where you have a very tangible remnant of a dead person's spirit in the form of a ghost (or are they actually related to the dead person? perhaps they associate with mummies for some other reason) in addition to their literal preserved dead body--what kind of interplay might there be between those two?
That stunned NoelleNina into silence well enough.well. She watched Teacher walkingwalk off, Grandmotherfloating trapped and furious at his side, and with him went dreams of the Sun, of the temple's inner sanctum, of the bright rainbow robes of thea true priest. It couldn't be that simple, could it?
JoffreyChukilla brushed past her, but she put out a hand and grabbedto stop him before he could catch up to Teacher. "It was you, wasn't it?" she asked. "You took my facecallerGravecaller and left it there!"
Joffrey hadChukilla tried to twist out ofshrug her grasp,off, not meeting her eye. It was as good as a "yes." "Why?" NoelleNina asked. "Why? Because only one of us can--?"
"It isn't fair," JoffreyChukilla said abruptly. "You've always had that ghost. I've had to do this alone. I had to make up for it somehow."
The bitterness in his voice stole Noelle'sNina's words from her once again. She could muster only a single, "but,"single "But," and then, "It didn't have to be like that. You..."
"I wasn't the one who decided only one of us could advance," JoffreyChukilla said, coldly, and finally wrenched himself free from Noelle'sof Nina's grip. She watched him go. She watched both of them go,him follow after Teacher, and her future go with them, and still she felt she couldn't understand.
--This poor little line down here... When merging the old and new openings in this draft, I took any lines from the old version that I liked too much to simply delete and stuck them down at the bottom of the document. They'd get either worked back into the story or finally deleted if I decided I didn't like them that much anyhow. All except for this little line, which I simply forgot about. It's so lonely down here...
That was how it worked: the quick and the virtuous climbed up the many-rayed ladder towards the Sun. Those above helped those below ascend towards warmth and light. Together everyone rose.